I have been thinking recently, the cycle of life- being born, growing up, studying, working, marrying, and then eventually having children, getting old, and then dying.  Existentialists often say, that the meaning of man’s life resides in his/her experience, and how he or she creates his or her own subjective reality.  Existentialists often do not subscribe to the idea of god, and so, the ultimate happiness could only be achieved through the virtue of one’s will.  On the other hand, theists believe that the meaning of one’s life is knowing the purpose that god has created for man, living life in accordance to his will and eventually being rewarded in heaven when a man dies.

Obviously, I do not subscribe to the latter, and the former, I am starting to doubt its utility, really.  The something that is “in-between” the cycle of life, and that is meaning and eudaimonia is nothing but the illusion of the physical self and its complex brain process.  Some would surely contest this perception, as a lot of people view life, nature, knowledge, love, humanity as enough source of meaning and if not happiness, contentment. I would say that perhaps, the point of the continuance of life, is embedded in the biological, cognitive and psychological state of every being, as of course who would want his or herself cease to be?

The subjective realities of every man is something that I can not account to be favorable or unfavorable, but the point of following the highly deterministic human existence is something that I find to be similar to the hand of god and his (hypothetical) desire to take control of everything. Everything in accordance to a pattern, everything in accordance to a plan. Everything in accordance to the prototype of every homo sapiens sapiens.

And so, having established that the search of my meaning and eudaimonia is something that I perceived as quite synonymous to self deception, I also perceived that life is nothing but a state of affairs full of unceasing desires and discontentment, which in one way or another creates human anguish.  And so the need to be married and have children and bring them to a world of complex absurdities, angst, sorrow, unceasing desire and evil is something that I surely would not do.  The part of the causal chain, and that is to fulfill one’s basic natural capabilities, that is to procreate is something that I desire to neglect and totally trash.

The need to be immortal, through one’s offspring, epistemological contribution to human race and the likes would only make me a slave of the causal chain; and the whole cosmos would sigh in contentment as the basic nature for survival is achieved by another speck of life in the place called Earth. But an insignificant life, who have not done its part is useless and worthy to be forgotten through time, yet a life who does not contribute to the elaborate chain, is a life which in its own minute ways defy determinism and reach the tip of the rabbit’s fur.